10 Couples Counseling Tips to Improve Your Relationship

One in ten American adults in a committed relationship currently attend couples therapy. If you want to build a stronger relationship, there’s no shame in getting some extra help.

Attending couples counseling can allow you to work through any problems that you’re facing in your relationship. Learning to communicate honestly and openly and building better habits can be well worth the effort and can help you strengthen your bond with your partner.

Want to get the most out of couples counseling and build a stronger relationship? Then, be sure to use these counseling tips for couples during your couples counseling sessions.

1. Manage Your Expectations

When attending a couples counseling session, it’s important to keep your expectations in check. Having unrealistic expectations for the therapy sessions or for your partner is a recipe for disappointment. 

Don’t expect that a counseling session will help ” fix” your partner or change your relationship overnight. Couples counseling is a long-term process. It can take time for both partners to improve and for the relationship to grow stronger.

2. Take Responsibility

A major mistake that people make with counseling sessions and relationship issues is that they blame everything on their partners. However, relationship issues often arise due to the behavior of both partners in a relationship rather than just one. 

To get the most from counseling and couples therapy, it’s best to take responsibility for some of the problems in your relationship. Ignoring your role in your relationship problems is a mistake.

3. Don’t Keep Secrets

In couples therapy, it’s essential that you don’t keep secrets from your partner. Secrets can prevent you from building the strong connection with your partner that you crave and can prevent you from making progress in your sessions.

Whether problems are related to infidelity, addiction, commitment concerns, or other major issues, it’s best to be open. Be honest with your partner and therapist during the sessions. 

4. Put It Into Practice

If you’re not putting in effort to practice what you learned in your counseling sessions, don’t be surprised if your relationship doesn’t improve. Remember that if you want to improve your relationship, you need to put in the effort.

Apply the changes and habits that your therapist suggests. Only then will you see results. 

5. Focus On Solutions

It can be easy to get into the habit of complaining about your spouse or partner and criticize them, whether in a therapy session or at home. However, constant complaining hardly ever leads to solutions. 

Be sure that you’re focused on the positive and on solving your problems rather than being critical. End the blame game and focus on what brings you closer to your partner instead. Being solution-focused will help you get the most out of your couples therapy sessions.

6. Remember the Positive

If you want to improve your relationship with your significant other, you need to remember to focus on the positive rather than on the negative. 

Many couples forget what drew them together in the first place once they’re in the midst of relationship issues and problems. Aim to focus on the positives in your partner and remember the good in your relationship and your history together.

Although doing this alone won’t solve all of your issues, it can help you remember what you’re fighting for. It can allow you to get some much-needed perspective while going through couples therapy.

7. Manage Your Emotions

In addition to avoiding criticism, work to manage your emotions more effectively. Uncontrolled emotions during a therapy session or at home will make things more difficult for both you and your partner. 

Try to keep a level head when facing issues and speak calmly. Although you shouldn’t suppress your emotions, you should aim to speak in a calm, grounded, and respectful way. 

8. Rely on Your Therapist

Many times, partners in a relationship attend couples therapy sessions while remaining skeptical. Not only can it be tough to listen to what your partner is saying, but it can be tough to trust in a therapist as well. 

Remember that your therapist is there to help you and that they’re doing the things they do for a reason. Be sure to put trust in them, answer the questions they ask, and work on the things that they suggest. 

The more that you can trust your therapist, the better off your relationship will be. By trusting your therapist, you’ll have a better chance of resolving issues with your partner.

9. Really Listen

A big mistake that partners make with couples communication in and out of therapy is that they don’t listen to their significant other. Remember that listening is about more than just the words themselves. Context and subtext matters as well.

Be sure that you’re not just listening to what your partner says at the most basic level. You should be working to understand where they’re coming from, what they’re trying to say, and what emotions they’re displaying. 

Truly listening to your partner is essential for relationship building. Doing so will allow you to take a big step toward resolving relationship issues.

10. Don’t Delay

If you’ve yet to begin couples counseling with your spouse or partner, don’t put it off. You can never go to relationship therapy too late, but earlier is better. The sooner you get started with couple bonding therapy, the more chance you’ll have of working through your issues and finding a way to improve your relationship.

Put in the effort to find a therapist that suits your financial situation and that you feel comfortable with. Doing so can end up being well worth it and can allow you to resolve the relationship problems that you’re experiencing sooner rather than later.

Following These Counseling Tips for Couples

To resolve issues with your partner with a therapist, be sure to pay attention to these counseling tips for couples. Keep your expectations in check, avoid keeping secrets, listen deeply, and make sure that you’re communicating respectfully with both your partner and your therapist.

Are you interested in Christian couples counseling in the Twin Cities? Contact Barker Solutions today to set up your next couples therapy session.