Therapy for your most important relationship 

This is not the marriage or relationship you initially dreamed of. Maybe your spouse threw a curveball after you said the vow or life happened and the weeds started to choke out your relationship. Either way you made a commitment and now you are in a stuck place.

Are you and your spouse in the same argument loop every week? Are the arguments going no where or is there a cold wall building between you both? Nothing is seeming to help the relationship out, why is this? Couples often get stuck in negative vicious cycles that keep things miserable such as:

-The more she gets angry, the more he gets defensive and walls off. The more he walls off, the more rage she builds up.

-The more demanding or controlling he gets, the more cold and distance she gets. The more cold and distance she is, the more demanding he gets. 

-The more he withdraws into work, the more she withdraws to the kids. They may try to make some bids for connection, but the more they see the other person distracted, the more time they start putting into the kids or work and not each other.

The negative or withdrawn interactions feed the cyle and therapy helps wake you up to start restoring the relationship back to life. 

Common issues addressed with couples counseling include:

• Balance (Work/Life/Family)
• Parenting
• Infidelity/Cheating
• Intimacy
• Division of Labor
• Disconnection
• Escalated Conflict
• Sexual Well Being
• Pre-Marital/Readiness
• Pornography
• Re-establishing Trust
• Reconciliation
• Substance Abuse
• Spiritual Life as a Couple

Marital research has shown that most couples wait an average of 6 years to seek help after they have identified a problem in their relationship. If you are tired of spinning the wheels, do your relationship a favor and please call me today. Available today we have the researched habits that can lead to a healthy relationship. As a professional counselor, I give direct feedback to couples in what patterns and behaviors are leading them to be stuck. 

Can a relationship be healed or improved through therapy?

Many couples bring their concerns over can their relationship be healed, a spouse not wanting to participate, does counseling work, is it worth the investment? I can tell you each session I will work with you on a specific plan on how you can influence things more effectively in your relationship. Relationships tend to follow patterns and cycles. Couples often get stuck in a negative pattern or dance as I mentioned before. Poorly trained counselors will often say you just have to ditch the relationship. That is not true. You had a healthy pattern or dance to start; you and your spouse can work to revive the relationship if you are willing to change your moves to the cycle. 

There is power in having a 3rd party intervening for you both, so you don’t feel like you have the heal the relationship alone. You also get direct feedback about what each person is doing to keep the negative cycle going, which is a lot more specific than any book. Each session is going to be a productive use of time in what needs to happen to move forward. 

I have experience working with couples of all ages to help them navigate through their challenges and re-establish connection. I have completed Level 2 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy which is one of the most respected and researched forms of couple’s therapy. The Gottman Method goes over skills, interventions and habits for working through conflict and creating connection. I have also completed Level 1 training from Terry Real and his Relational Life Therapy. Relational Life Therapy (RLT) can be helpful for addressing relational trauma from your family of origin. The therapy goes deeper into understanding where intense emotions come from and how to heal as a couple from your family of origin drama you may have brought into the relationship. I also like to bring in elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy by Dr. Sue Johnson, which focuses on understanding, communicating, and responding to attachments needs of each person. 

I am a marriage-friendly couples therapist and work with marriages to find concrete solutions as opposed to suggesting to divorce primarily. My sessions also respect your faith and will actively include your spirituality as a strength in your relationship if you wish to include this in the therapy. I want you to trust your relationship is going to be in good hands.

If any of the above relate to you, contact me today for a free consultation. I would love to speak about how I may be able to help you and your spouse reconnect. I am married myself and have had to do my own work for healing my marriage. I am on this journey with you for establishing healthy relationships. 

“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.  No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:12-13